today, i'm breaking away from it al.  from dS.  from k.  from sW.  i think i just need to take a few days off to myself to discover wth is wrong with me and why i've been pushing people away.
 
last night, it just hit me how i've been picking random fights with k.  last ngiht, ti was because he hasn't been goingt o the gym.    the night before, it was because he was stammering.  stupdi stuff really.  but it seems to irk me.  i love him.  i've never been that certain about anything in my life.  but really, all i want lately is to turn off my phone and stop having to hear from them. 
 
i'm trying to entertain the idea that maybe i just want to be alone for now until i know the outcome of the "situation",  maybe until then, i wouldn't be able to feel right about anything. 
 
i just really want to get this over with.  it's just not healthy.  and frankly, i'm just not who i am.